At Face Value

To fall in love is a beautiful thing. To experience a passionate and all-consuming love is an even better thing. Most people do not get to experience the kind of love that I have. It is like everything about you two clicks, like your hands feel perfect together. You can be your absolute selves and you still love each other with every ounce of your being. Even if you’ve only been apart for the day, you still have this overwhelming urge to kiss them and hold them because your day was instantly made when you saw them. The fire in your heart is a never-ending flame and it continues to grow larger as the days, weeks and months go on. To feel a love so strong is all I could have ever asked for and I am so blessed I got to experience it. I am so thankful for you walking into my life. I really wish with all that I have that I could make you stay in my life, but it doesn’t work that way. I will miss all of the laughs, cuddles, jokes, games, cooking, baking, playing together with our kitten we have raised together and so much more. It will never be the same and I for sure will never be the same. The hardest part is knowing it is all your fault and now you can’t take anything you said or did back. I guess I have an act for being a little overdramatic and maybe, just maybe if I had taken a breath and relaxed it wouldn’t have come to this. I am so sorry for all the wrongs I have brought to you know I forgive you for all the wrongs you did to me as well. You will forever have a very special place in my heart and you will always carry a big piece of my and my heart with you because I gave it all to you. I gave you all of me, even my crazy parts and you still accepted them. I love you and I will always love you.

Red Velvety-Smooth

So I made some delicious red velvet cupcakes for Francis, just as a little treat. Safe to say he loved them, which is another hint as to why I know we belong together haha… He tolerates - and possibly enjoys - my cooking/baking! It was a really nice surprise because Francis was writing an exam so I baked them while he was writing so they would be ready for my man to come home!

 


Now there were some crazy set-backs that prolonged my baking adventure and also the lack of photos involving the frosting, but I still managed to make a huge mess of my boyfriends' kitchen and get them done just as he was walking through the door! 

Before you begin, make sure you have all your ingredients:

Cupcakes: 

• 2 1/2 cups flour
• 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup butter, softened
• 2 cups sugar
• 4 eggs
• 1 cup sour cream
• 1/2 cup milk

• 1 (1 ounce) bottle Red Food Color
• 2 teaspoons pure Vanilla extract
• 
  
• Vanilla Cream Cheese Frosting:
• 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
• 1/4 cup butter, softened
• 2 tablespoons sour cream
• 2 teaspoons pure Vanilla extract
• 1 (16 ounce) boxconfectioners' sugar

So the first step is to preheat oven to 350 degrees f. Mix flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt in medium bowl and set them off to the side.

Next, you beat butter and sugar in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed for 5 minutes or until it is light and fluffy. Beat in the eggs one at a time then mix in sour cream, milk, food colour and vanilla. Gradually beat in the flour mixture on low speed until just blended but make sure you do not over-beat. Spoon the batter into 30 paper-lined muffin cups, filling each cup about 2/3 full.

Bake your cupcakes for 20 minutes or until toothpick inserted into cupcake comes out clean. Cool in pans on wire rack for five minutes. Remove the cakes from their pans and allow them to cool completely. Frost with Vanilla Cream Cheese Frosting which you should make while the cupcakes are baking.

Vanilla Cream Cheese Frosting: Beat the cream cheese, softened, butter, sour cream and vanilla extract in large bowl until light and fluffy. Gradually beat in confectioners' sugar until smooth.

Enjoy everyone! <3

Tales From the Crypt: Inside the World of the Real Life Mean Girls

In high school, you would do anything to be popular. Change your hair, change your make-up, flirt with the boys a little more. But does it mean you have to change who you are completely? No. Do you do it anyways? Yes. But what about in college when you're supposed to be an adult, and everything in your life is supposed to be on a straight and narrow path of the real you...

Trying to fit in during the 'awkward years' of your life was tough but you did it. You changed a lot about you, your new friends guided you in the right direction. They taught you who to talk to, what boys were hot, how to do your hair nicely so you don't look like a freak. Everything was a benefit to you though because they helped to make you a well-rounded, involved student. You made it through high school untouched, with great friends and people you could trust to guard your secrets with your life. You had sleepovers, and parties, and dinners and awesome days at the beach. You all ate lunch together and it looked like what you saw in the movies. Sure there was drama, but don't all friends have a little drama? Regardless of the stupid, minor drama-fests that occurred you can proudly say you felt ready for life. How naive of you little girl.

So now you get to university... Fresh faced, finally able to start over and be the person you always were. You think things are going great, but you realize you have no friends. Looking back now, you realize you had some pretty darn solid friends you could rely on. But you want that popularity you had in high school. Where people knew your name, guys noticed you. Here you're invisible, just another face with nothing spectacular. 

The only way to fix this problem was to relive the transformation in high school. Let your friends fix you up, make you pretty, and turn you into a clone? This wasn't like high school at all. But sure, you disregarded a lot of your morals, and sure, you cut some friends out of your life. You didn't see it until now, but you may as well have been Cady Heron from Mean Girls. You went from never talking about people behind their back and feeling like you could trust anyone to saying the meanest things about your friends the second they leave the room and not knowing who you could tell what to. 

Now ladies and gents, these types of friends only last for so long. Eventually, the lies and deceit and the backstabbing will get to you. Remember, you're nothing like these people. We're talking about people who called themselves 'Queen Bee's' and were natural socialites. Coming from your small hometown to this is life's way of slapping you out of your small town dream world. Anyways, those kinds of friendships end catastrophically. Cut-throat out of your life. 

I'm pretty sure I did a lot of stupid and immature things last year and at the beginning of the year, said some really mean things about people that I can never take back and hurt people I love. When you have this fixation on fitting in you don't realize the things you are doing because in the simplest way put, you're a bitch. You're plastic. Cold, hard, shiny plastic. Also, you have the mentality of a nine year old, because that's how old you were when the movie came out. 

So why do people do this? Knowing they are causing pain to others, acting like they're nine years old? Because it feels nice to be noticed. But is it really worth your entire self-being to hurt everyone around you four three other girls who literally don't give a care in the world about you? No it's not.

As I write this, I think about the great friends I have now, it may not be many but I can say they stick with me through thick and thin. Maybe the key to life - besides growing up and finally being mature - is to be happy with the few best friends you have instead of wanting to be everyone's so-so friend. Acting like another person won't make you happy, and the fallout from all of it will make you even more unhappy. 

These people who once were your friends will make secret Facebook groups and discuss your personal life. They'll have Facebook chats titled We Hate So and So's Boyfriend where they all hope you guys will break up and how much they dislike the two of you. They'll also gossip about you when you go to the only grocery store on campus to buy an apple because you've been at the library for six hours and are hungry. All of a sudden this one trip to the store is catastrophic… I'm hungry, I'm not plotting against you, I didn't know you worked, it wash't planned out like you think it was. I'm sorry but life doesn't revolve around you. This is your new reality. They'll try and get gossip out of your housemates and then call you psycho when you're rude housemate lies to them. Yes fellow bloggers, these are true stories.

So my advice to all of you is to just for once be happy with who you are, if you didn't learn from Mean Girls or any of the other movies out there, learn from me and the thousands of other girls who lived through it. At least I can say I got out alive and still have friends and amazing friends to keep me sane with all these rumours and the egocentric people you will occasionally meet in your life.

Good To Be Back

This Sunday was definitely one of the most sad days I've had in a long time. Saying the final goodbye to my absolutely amazing boyfriend was so unbelievably difficult. But no matter what, no matter the distance, we both have the amazing memories we shared this summer like when we went fishing, when I learned how to shoot and what is the front and back end of a boat, all of the times we went to Ottawa, all of the parties, the horse shoe tournament, Tiffany's Stag and Doe, his Grandpa's 80th birthday, and so many more!

No matter how many times I tell myself it's only eight months, a little piece of my heart still aches knowing I can't wake up to you beside me, and you won't get to be here to be with me all year. This boy honestly means the world to me, and even though it has only been five days without Frank, it feels like it's been weeks. I'm just waiting for the day to soon come where I can give him the biggest reunion hug and not let go for hours. 

But I guess my first post about being home can't be ALL about my amazing boyfriend, so yeah moving in went really well... I still don't have a bed until tomorrow but I've been trooping through, living at Ethan and Robyn's houses which was nice to see them again. I can't wait for all of my friends to slowly move into Kingston! 

I'm a Frosh week leader, know as a Gael at Queen's, and so far the training has been long with lots of pelvic thrusting and chanting and dancing, but it is so much fun. Seeing the Queen's spirit again makes me remember why I love my school so much!

I baked on my first night in the new house, I can't wait to cook all the tie this year. Actually scratch that, I can't wait to cook for Frank all next year :) I'm going to surprise him with my skills and make him nothing but the best ever. Gosh, I'm just so excited to be the best girlfriend EVER. Frank's not even going to know what hit him! Hehe...

I went out to the Nan'og and it was such a great time, it's a karaoke bar, Robyn, her friend, myself and Anthony all sang "You're the one That I Want" from Grease. It was the best. Nightlife in Kingston is crazy fun and way better than back home, although I won't be going out way too much because I have to focus on school this year!

I want to post a few pictures of my first few days but I'm also going to post some of Frank and I, just because I miss him and love him so much! Sorry I keep talking about Frank but he's my boo :)

P.S there is no order to these pictures...

Just love him so much :)

Caught my first fish!

Last night together <3

First night at the new house, made myself some dinner and peach crisp. Yuuum :)

My housemate Ella and I

Marcus being silly after the bar!

Just showing off the amazing necklace from Frank

So many memories from first year...

The racoons in Kingston are just as bad as the squirrels.

All pictures from the horse shoe tournament!

We take cute selfies... :)

My new house!!

LOVE LOVE LOVE MY NECKLACE. I'm wearing it right now...

Well actually I wear it all the time.

Colours

You say, "What if [I] have blue, green, orange and purple. That's what you like about me. What happens if someone else comes along and has all those colours PLUS yellow."

Well the hell that I care because I love my colours I have. If I liked the colour yellow, I would be dating the colour yellow, it all makes sense to me! DUUUUH

I hope Frank truly knows what he's gotten himself into... lol oh boy, I can only imagine.

I am so ready to tough out this year and I know Frank feels like I'll be the one to end this relationship, but I know it won't be me... cheating is not even an option, like I said, if he can only imagine how much I actually love him. Meeerrrrrppppp. And I'm going to wear my necklace every single friggin day <3

Keeping your heart right next to mine my dear! <3

So Close

The worst feeling in the world is feeling responsible for something. Actually no, it's feeling useless. And that's about what I'm at right now... Sometimes I just feel like the biggest waste of space and I know that's just my insecurities but you can't help it. When all you can do is hold everything in and put a smile on your face and hope for the best. People don't realize how hard it is...

A Really Serious Matter....

Last night, Heaven gained a new angel. I can say I knew Alex personally, he and I had some good times together partying and just hanging out. When I needed him, he was there for me and sat with me until I fell asleep. 

It's a shame to see when such a young person takes their own life... Depression is a real problem that is under-addressed and needs to be made aware. This is the fourth person my age from my small hometown that has ended their life because they felt like they couldn't cope with the stress and pains of living. It's just sad, he was only in grade eleven. He wasn't even eighteen yet...

It's times like these in life when people realize how truly precious life is. We should never take a single person we love for granted. Always make sure you know there is always someone out there who is willing to talk and listen and someone will always care about you.